Third Time's the Charm
by AEther
Summary: Princess Bubblegum frees herself of her responsibilities to the Candy Kingdom and reconnects with Finn, fresh from a heartbreak. Occurs after "Burning Low" then takes an AU turn. Fubblegum.


_Originally a reblog response to HVK's prompt (illeity . tumblr . com post/51715238413/third-times-the-charm). Yes, AEther is illeity and I decided to revive my old account to post this little Fubblegum bitty. Enjoy! If you have any questions, it's best to contact me on my Tumblr: illeity__._tumblr_._com

**Third Time's the Charm**

I think I've only ever farted twice in my life. The first one was when I was under the covers with Marceline, giggling about something. Then, it just came out, just as her eyes glowed through the dark and she bared her teeth like she always did when she became interested in someone. Or something.

She closed her eyes, chortled and laughed loudly, snorting through her nose before gagging and leaving the bed shortly to head to the bathroom. She came back amused and used that opportunity to tease me about how this "frumpy, uptight princess" is actually capable of really disgusting stuff. We argued through the night but I could swear she enjoyed seeing me on the defensive, right as I described how "normal" farts are as by-products of gases by digestion of insoluble fibers.

The second one was the day I completed my replacement. I think I broke down in tears as my heir successfully dealt with a case between two candy people, a cat, a bottle of Vegemite, and a 12-inch PVC pipe. I cheered in the crowd, then released my load by mistake. No one heard me, but the smell knocked out Cinnamon Bun, who was Bailiff at that time, and boiled the Vegemite. I shouldn't have eaten Brussel Sprouts before the trial.

But my attention was rapt as I ate the vegetables the night before. Using my own DNA and mixing it with Finn's I was able to create a replacement that had the heart to lead the people and the head to deal with the complexities of leadership. The combination remained in my head as I packed up my satchel and finally left the kingdom.

I don't know why I ended up in Finn's little tree fort. I could have stayed with the wolves that Lumpy Space Princess raved about, but her Five Star review on Yelp proved highly dubious amidst the sea of One Stars and Two Stars. Not wanting to stay outside any further as the knife storm surged on, I rushed to the Fort and Finn welcomed me in.

"Welcome" though, seemed rather generous for Finn's demeanor. He only stepped back, pointed to the ladder beside him and told me I would know where to go. He didn't look at me but I looked at him and knelt down in shock at the injury on his face. His left cheek was filled with blisters and skin peeled back from burns. My mind rushed through possibilities and causes as I reached out with a hand. Finn twitched in response. He seemed to want to pull away but decided to stay in place as I scoped out the extent of the injury.

I have treated Marceline and Finn in the course of their dungeon crawls together and maybe Finn decided to stay because of that, but I wondered just why he wanted to pull away when all I've been doing is helping.

And so I've found new purpose in the next few weeks. I helped out in treating Finn's burns, putting on new dressings and asking Jake to pick out meds in the pharmacy. What was merely silence turned to short clauses until they became full conversations about his adventures in Mars or the hidden Vault he explored with Susan Strong. I kept asking about the places he's traveled.

Despite our rapport, he still refuses to allow me to give him a sponge bath or even remove his shorts. He would yell loudly, then throw a pillow at my face as he marched off into the bathroom. I would know Finn was done bathing if he starts crying out in pain from wiping his burnt skin with a towel. His cries seem oddly feminine and I laughed with Jake as we shared Rüdesheimer Kaffee while we talked about his kids.

And so weeks turned to months. Finn never once asked me to leave and found my presence welcome. It may have also helped that BMO had company and while the two were out adventuring I was there to play with this sweet robot while I worked on some personal projects on the side.

During one hot day the week before summer we were both sitting on the couch watching TV. "Why You Ackin' So Cray-Cray" was on. I squirmed on my seat while glancing at his burns on the peripheral. I never inquired or questioned why, but treating those wounds drove my curiosity to the brink and I finally asked him where he got it.

He looked at me with those blue eyes and the sheen diminished when I finished asking my question. He tried to raise a hand to touch the injury but I touched his hand in turn to stop him, saying:

"Don't touch it. You'll infect the wound."

He obliged, took a deep breath and told me a story worthy of any heart broken through mismatched hearts and a brave defiance against nature. But here, nature won.

I think it was already too much that I let my curiosity get to this, so I just kept quiet while Finn talked. It became 80 Fahrenheit outside when he finished his story and the Tree Fort was getting too quiet. Finn reached out and tried reaching for a remote that was on the table beside me. He placed a hand on my lap while he reached with the other. As he struggled, I offered to get it for him and reached out with a hand.

In my head I knew that if I just stood up and walked over to the side table, I could have taken the remote, and we could be watching an episode of "The Duchess Approves". If I was still Princess, held by the rigors of my upbringing, I would have done so, but the weeks reminded me of how little I cared for all that and how fully devoted I am to this boy and his injury. And the scorching heat did little to change that opinion too.

I reached out lazily and grunted as I stretched out my arm, straining with all my might. And as I did, I farted onto the couch. The seating tuned the sound into a low bass and shook the loose wood hidden underneath the floor. Finn bolted from his seat, his half-closed eyes blowing wide in shock as he stared at me.

Then we both erupted into laughter. Once due to my embarrassing act, and twice from the realization that we were both terribly lazy people. As Finn laughed, he grabbed his stomach, in pain from cramps and laid his head onto my lap. Flashes of the time I tested Water Fireworks came to me, but instead of pushing him away, I just let him stay there as the TV show turned to a commercial.

Such a strong head, I thought. I never did feel that as I pushed him away so quickly the first time. And such thick hair, I thought. I took a hand and ruffled his hair as he watched a TV spot for a concert by "Sev'ral Times". I could imagine he suffered so much from fighting demons, Ice King and the Lich. He was willing to die for me because of the Earl of Lemongrab and his sound sword. His ears bled for a week because of that.

Why persist? I meant to ask, but held back. The heat was still soaring as we drifted off to sleep. Jake would arrive five minutes later and would draw mustaches on our faces. I felt him mark my face and wanted to berate him for that, but kept quiet. I think Finn would enjoy having someone to laugh at and a partner to chase Jake with tar and feathers once we woke up later.

I felt thirteen again.


End file.
